Tuesday, 10 May 2016
THE BEFORE 30 SYNDROME
I was watching TV the other day when the trailer for a new series "before 30" came up. By the way I love the new crop of Nigerian movies I've been seeing lately, and this one I know I won't regret watching, hehe. Anyways, back to the matter. From the title, its easy to guess that its about women and the rush to be married before 30. This got me thinking,who and what started this?
Is it just the notion by doctors/scientists that women have a lower chance of conceiving after 35 (which is not always true, I walk by faith and not by sight) or is it just that society just loves to place certain standards for women? Why do men have an open age bracket for marriage and many other things and women are confined? It beats me, really.
I was talking to someone the other day and she said (yes, this came from a woman) "ah so and so person is getting old oh, time is no longer on her side, she should calm down so she can find a husband na" and I was amazed, no, dazed is a better word for how I felt. This is someone who was just twenty something years old oh? Well, that one is even a topic for another day.
Today, I want to talk about another aspect of the "before 30" syndrome which is coming to the realization that you're getting old and haven't achieved as much as you would have wanted to and this applies to both the male and female folk. People set targets for what they need to do by the age of thirty. "Oh by age thirty I must have built a house, by thirty I must have set up my own business, by thirty I want to be done having kids, by thirty I must have travelled the world, by thirty I must have built my house, I want to be a professor by thirty" and so on and so forth. While dreaming big and setting goals for is a good thing, sometimes we tend to be too hard on ourselves in the process. No one said that life ends at thirty, instead we are told it even begins at forty, so calm down.
I won't even lie, I'm also guilty of feeling this way. The year I was turning thirty I sat down to examine my life and achievements and felt a bit disappointed. I had really big dreams as a teenager and in my early twenties of how much I was going to achieve before I got to the age of thirty and its funny how time flies because then it felt like thirty years was decades away. When it dawned on me I was like "oh God I'm old, I haven't even done half the things I wanted to, and now I'm beginning to raise children", I really panicked! lol. I was comforted by the fact that where there's life there's hope. Probably there's a reason God is delaying it, you never know! The fact that it hasn't happened yet does not mean that it will never happen. Delay is not denial as long as we keep working towards making the dreams we have come to actualization, consciously taking it one day at a time, we will all attain greater heights. Do not be afraid of getting older, own your age with pride, by all means set targets for yourself and try to meet them but if you don't, take it easy on yourself, maybe some other time? The most important thing is to live, love and be happy...xo
Welcome to my blog, I hope we all have fun as I share the crazy and not so crazy things that go on in my head. My name is Nsa, but for the purposes of blogging you could call me kobnomi, KNB for short, if you like. I am an efik chic as you may have guessed, a lover of God (don't know what I would do without Him), a wife and a mother. I absolutely love life and I'm on a journey to living it to the fullest!