Saturday, 18 February 2017

YOU ARE THE WIFE, AND SHE IS THE GIRLFRIEND

When the excerpts of OAP Toke Makinwa's book "On becoming" was shared online I couldn't help but remember the words he said to her "you are the wife and she is the girl friend". I was amazed to say the least, this statement was made several years before he got married to Toke and that is exactly what happened- He married Toke and Anita became the side chic. How can someone expose someone he claims to love to that kind of competition?


Anyways,  I'm not here to talk about Toke and Maje's issue, its just that their situation is similar to what has been happening in a lot of relationships. I've heard of several instances where a man is dating girlfriend A and sneakily marries girlfriend B without breaking up with girlfriend A, or even giving her any cause for suspicion.

Apart from the gist I heard from people about this same scenario, it also happened to someone I know. To say this girl loved her boyfriend is an understatement. She practically adored him. If he asked her to jump she would probably ask "how high", that was how much she loved him and it was obvious he loved her too. There was no fight or break up oh, just out of the blues she heard bae was getting married. How did she find out? On the week the wedding was to hold she went somewhere and heard people talking about the wedding, she didn't believe it until she was shown the card. He had been with her early that same week of the wedding and told her he needed to travel to his village to settle some issues, so apparently the issue he had to settle was his marriage to another girl. Poor girl was totally devastated, after crying for weeks on end she picked herself up again. Men and brethren, few months or a year after she was jilted bobo came back begging and hanging around her like a fly and I ask- "but why?"

How much more insult can you dish out to one person? In order words you are trying to tell her that her own calling in this life is to be a mistress? The sad part of it is that some girls still go back to these men claiming they were there before the wife, that's probably what Anita will say if you ask her. You want to know what my friend did? She simply used the guy as her ATM, driver and errand boy since he wouldn't stop disturbing her life. Poor man gladly did all her bidding, I guess he felt he owed her that much after what he put her through.

What's wrong with properly breaking up with one person  before moving on with another? At least that's the right and noble thing to do. Why give someone false hopes when you know you really don't want to marry them? Truth is, its better to breakup properly no matter how hurt you think someone might be, its the honourable thing to do and you owe them that much.

By the way, how was Val's day guys? Hope it went well for everyone...



No comments: